Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeMabini  You might want to make one addition to your plans. Move as far away from your wife's family as possible. When you just come here for trips they are on their best behavior, however when you move here permanently they will have crisis after crisis.. each one directly related to the amount of cash you have readily available or can afford with monthly payments.
At first it is not such a big deal, but one day reality will sink in and you will resent the fact that you worked your whole life and sacrificed so that you can support people that have no work ethic other than working you out of your money.
Harsh words? Yes, but true |
i would love to hear about innovative tactics to reduce this familial bill, here are some commonly used ones
1.) low ball your income - obviously do not disclose to wife
2.) channel fixed monthly amount of funds through one respected family member for all. then let them fight between themselves. (remember i do not have any money, is the only acceptable explanation).
3.) look for work in exchange for money, the work has to be done before the money is handed over no matter how immediate the 'crisis' is
4.) locate far from family(as was stated)
5.) refuse to give money to anyone from the outset(risky - but had worked in the 3 cases that i know have used it)
6.) never employ family
7.) my favorite was an english guy who would only go out with orphans, so he had no family obligation
donations are regarded both as a sign of kindness and weakness.
the truth is the descent ones, will never ask for money and only take it in extreme conditions. the opportunists will try, but do not expect. the ones that feel an obligation, are the ones difficult to deal with, especially after some money has been rolled out and a perceived precedent has been set.
my favorite set of crisis came last year from a 1-2 month affair with your typical gold digger, always drama and emotions etc. no urgency to get a job, loved lee plaza, u know the type. I had to leave town for a few weeks and was wondering, when all the imminent crisis were going to happen, so i preempted this by stating, that i had no means of banking while away.
within 48 hours of departure, the crisis from this girl and her mother had gone from requesting money for one lost phone on the first day, to day two when father and brother needing police bail. mother, girl, one sister in hospital(mother close to death), mother and sister needing money to escape from a violent father, mother and aunty needing money for trader licence. girl needing a heart operation. literally every text had a new crisis.
god knows what it would have been like with the whole extended family using their request skills in the ample free time available. well it was interesting drama anyway. i heard one dummy, fell for the heart operation line since($5000).
one guy i know married rich, and has no family financial requests, but he has to purchase loads of the status symbols, which are also very expensive, but granted less frustrating and do not make you feel like a complete sucker.
it is not only the wives family that are lazy, i have seen tired wives here with 4 maids, to assist 1 child.