Satire

[Teacher]

Your girlfriend maybe a Filipina if . . .

1. All her relatives think your name is Joe.

2. Your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize.

3. You are expected to be able to read her mind just by watching her eyebrows move up and down and which way her lips are pointed.

4. Your house isn't really on fire, but there is a very charred fish right on top of the stove.

5. She eats her fruit with giant salt crystals and her fried chicken with ketchup.

6. Even the ketchup tastes weird . . . very weird.

7. You throw a party and everyone is fighting to chop the leathery skin off a dead pig.

8. You try to call her up on the phone and someone tells you "for a while" and you want to know "for a while, what??"

9. She sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on.

10. Her idea of classy, expensive champagne is cold duck.

11. The rice cooker is on 24 hours a day and uses up 50% of your electric and food budget.

12. You buy a new $500 freezer so she can store 200 pounds of SPAM and CORNED BEEF that was on sale.

13. She gets really excited by sucking the fat out of pig feet.

14. Her favorite sauce is called patis, Americans call it turpentine.

15. You still don't know what's the difference between manong and manok.

16. Before every holiday and visit, her sisters fax’s you a 10 page "pasalobong" list.

17. All the vegetables she buys at the Filipino store look like they were imported from Mars.

18. She "cleans" her closet by throwing all the crap into your closet.

19. There's always singing in your house, even when the radio's off.

20. She might not have had a second pair of shoes growing up, but she's rapidly making up for lost time.

21. You have a Western Union "Preferred Customer" card. ( I REALLY DO!!!)

22. You learn to like rice, even plain.

23. She may only tell you she loves you once in awhile. But, she shows you that she loves you in everything she does and says.

24. You go to sleep each night knowing you're the luckiest man in the world.



Remeber this is my wifes idea she thinks it is funny.

[Teacher]

You hear her say something about "tubig" and you think she telling you that your fat.

[Goth]

Hilarious , if it is her idea to publish these stuffs, you are a lucky guy!

love peace and cash

[Arie]

she hyjacks the laptop for hours to watch tagalog soaps on youtube, while making sure she ain't missing any of the local ones either

[Arie]

don't ignore the soaps her mood changes might depend if her favourite soap goes the way she wants or not

[Teacher]

good getting into the spirit of the thing nice Arie.

[David Finlay]

25. you spend the afternoon shopping for more clothes and shoes, this is followed by a very romantic (and expensive) dinner. As the evening draws to a close, you look into her eyes and explain how deep your love is for her. As you tell her you would cross any mountain etc etc, she reaches for her phone to see who just texted her !

[jellyfish]

David, how the hell did you know that ?
You were not here when that happened to me !

[Teacher]

OH JELLY ROFL this thread just keeps getting better