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Thread: HI Guys, Moving and nervous

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    steveb155 is offline DI Member
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    Default HI Guys, Moving and nervous

    Hi Guys, so I'm a U.S. citizen living in Arizona with my fiance which is from Philippines. She is pregnant and expecting in a few months. After the baby we will be moving to Dumaguete so she can finish school (She already has 2 years in there). I have a company which I can operate remotely via the internet from anywhere in the world so although I'll be taking a bit of a paycut, from what I've read I should be easily able to support us (Not to mention she has family there) Although I have traveled abroad (Spain, Europe) and lived in Mexico for some time, I'm a bit nervous about the move. I've spent the majority of my life studying Spanish.. I know zero visayan, tagalog , etc. I have never been to the Philippines. Worried about the simple stuff, (Internet, haircuts, medical/medications im on, etc).. It'd be nice to hook up with some English speaking people that could give me advice at times while she'll be in school.

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    Cutie ladybug's Avatar
    Cutie ladybug is offline DI Member
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    Lots of English spoken here. Not a problem at all.

    Internet available at various speeds for various prices
    Fast this Life of mine was dying
    Blind already and calm as Death
    Snowflakes on her bosom lying
    Scarcely heaving with her breath
    Love came by, and having known her
    In a dream of Fabled Lands




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    Hmmm, she has family here eh?
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    PatO is offline DI Member
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    Haircuts! There is a stylist here, a friend of the Forum commentator, names Erica who would love to cut your hair. There are a few other Americans with online businesses here and there doesn't seem to be any problems. There are some call centers here and many places like restaurants nd gyms have wifi. I'll take here over Mexico anytime.
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    steveb155 is offline DI Member
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    Well thats good news to know, thanks for the responses guys

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    Steve, the most powerful piece of advice I could give you is to put at least a 3 hour bus ride between you and your in-Laws.

    At least.

    Before you get here have this planned out.

    Even better if you can be on another island entirely.
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    Don
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    Thumbs up HI Guys, Moving and nervous

    Steveb,
    I have to agree with Manzanita - better have a VERY good understanding between you and your wife as to just exactly what she expects of you in the way of support to her family members. (And I do NOT mean just in illness or other emergencies) You, my friend, are a 'walking, talking, live ATM to the family and relatives! Best you get your wife to agree and understand that you are not a bank or ATM - NOW!!

    Give the family / relatives a chance, though, as they may be very nice and not expect you to support them. (My wife's family does not...) Then again, they may see you as their personal ATM....then best consider moving away from them...not to the next town, but far enough away that they will not care to put up with the expense or difficulty of knocking on your door for a handout. (a loan...ha,ha,ha...'loans' are usually not repaid here - they are considered as a gift).

    Wait at least a good year before you decide to buy a lot and build a house. Make as certain as you can the preferred area is safe for foreigners and free from robbers and your soon to be neighbors are honest and friendly to you. Remember, you will be thought of as being an ATM to them as well.

    Medical care is not so great here in Dumaguete. Many of us go to Cebu for more serious medical issues. That should be a important consideration on your part. I don't know if you have any heart issues, but if you do - consider this: there is likely NO "Golden Hour" here to save your life if having a heart attack. Just to get a ambulance with oxygen that works could take more than one hour - if at all...

    Personally, I live away from the city proper, some 24 klms north - and like it better. Cleaner, more fresh air. Extremely friendly people - honest, happy. No loud karaoke! Forget learning Tagalog. Wait and see what specific dialouge is spoken in the area you decide to live...then learn that one. ISPs and service will depend upon where you exactly live! Service isn't available everywhere. Haircuts are, tho. LOL!!
    Good luck on your venture - and with your wife's family.
    Don - in "DreAMLANd"
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    Ayo ayo = Take care.
    Don - in "DreAMLANd"

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    steveb155 (10-05-2012)

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    steveb155 is offline DI Member
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    The majority of the family lives about a 3 hour bus ride away however there will be sisters right by us. As far as I know they are pretty well off (The father owns a plantation of some type and use to work in government) , the wife already has her own house built. Some of her Aunts come to her as an ATM since she is OFW so she is well aware of that type of ordeal, refuses to give in and has extended that advice to me. Hopefully the "robbers" will not be an issue, as I used to work in law enforcement and here in the states am readily armed here, properly trained, carry a conceal and carry license as well as a security clearance. It's going to take a little getting used to not being able to be armed while abroad...Don thats great advice about the neighbors and also going to Cebu for more serious medical conditions. Luckily I'm fairly young and don't have any major issues but again you never know what might happen. My wife said the same thing about an ambulance or emergency...I'm not sure exactly what area we will be staying but if anyone has any suggestions that'd be great. One of my biggest concerns is being just plain bored. As i mentioned, my wife will be away at school the majority of days and I don't want to be secluded and isolated in the house all day/every day. I'm sure i'll venture out, guess we'll see what happens..

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    Hi Steve, and welcome.
    You will find the laws regarding fire arms some what different over in the Philippines.
    Foreigners or not allowed to own firearms, but the wife is allowed to keep a gun providing she has the relevant licence.
    Good luck with your transit.
    Jim




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    ChMacQueen is offline DI Member
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    I have to agree with everyone else. You really should avoid living in the same city or less then 2-3 hours away from the family. The family here often gets between a filipina and her foreigner expecting its your job to support their wants and not just what WE call emergency needs. The family also may seem great now but soon as your married that can very quickly change.

    I had that first hand experience. Had a filipina and while family lived far had a couple near like her mother being our yaya/helper (she had a baby from previous bf). Family seemed understanding and accepting but after married money just started vanishing as family was pressuring her so much that it was our job to support them. After 1 1/2 years married I had to throw her out.

    Also were did you meet your fiancee? She's pregnant now, but you've never been to the Philippines? OFW or such when you met her? I'd warn though to double and triple check that its yours. If not yours though I'd have serious reservations though, she gets pregnant and very quickly after meets you the greatest man ever? Or maybe just Mr. Sucker. I don't mean to offend but so many here make those same mistakes thinking the woman they chat over the net is their one true love while she just takes first that asks out of the 10 she has going.

    With so many to pick from also why burden yourself down right away when come here. I'm not sure your age but as still working assuming not that old, so many to pick from and you may regret it after see all the possibilities. You may see that the 10 you scored now be really be a 4 while there are plenty of 7's around every corner.

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