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Thread: Where is the humor on here?

  1. #631
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    To bite or not to bite
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    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  2. #632
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    Clould be worse

    A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

    Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

    Your daughter, Judith

    PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.




  3. #633
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    Default How to recruit people into a business

    Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.

    Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

    Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

    If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department.

    If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing .

    If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.

    If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.

    If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations .

    If they are sleeping. Put them in security.

    If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information Technology.

    If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.

    If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
    been moved. Put them in sales.

    If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.

    If they are staring out of the Window. Put them on strategic planning.

    And then last but not least…

    If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

    Congratulate them and put them in top management.
    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  4. #634
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    No butt ends
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    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  5. #635
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    Be Safe
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    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  6. #636
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    The common aim
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    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  7. #637
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    Safety measure
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    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  8. #638
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    Public safety
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    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

  9. #639
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    Default

    nice one Prog you have brightened my day again




  10. #640
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    Always happy to do so John have a good weekend mate.
    Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

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